Summer 2012 Goals

Being the perfectionist that I am, I decided to make a list of goals I hope to have accomplished by the end of my training this summer. When I complete one, I'll cross it off :)

Successfully do a down-and-up Got this one on my first day trying! Now I just need to make it pretty lol

Be vaulting on consistently

Stand at the canter consistently

Hold a shoulder stand at the trot

Do a freestyle routine at the trot (or canter)

Complete a successful triple routine

Be able to cartwheel over the handles

Have a back kickover, at least on the ground

I'll add more when I think of them :P

Update which is long over-due :P

Okay, I know I know I know, I haven't posted in FOREVER but truth be told, all I've really been doing is my regular training (though sometimes not :P) except for our performance at Wings of Hope Equitherapy over Easter weekend. It was my most complicated and longest freestyle yet (still at the walk though b/c I hadn't been vaulting regularly enough to be ready for anything faster at that point) and it went off without a hitch! We practiced and practiced and practiced and I messed up plenty of times, including kneeing myself in the face on my dismount which was SUPER fun, but when it came time to perform, I didn't mess up once! First time that's ever happened too! Kat wasn't so lucky but she did really well, especially considering she'd been off it even longer than me AND she doesn't really train on her own like I do. Of course there was drama but for the most part, we were all getting along better than usual (with one exception who shall remain nameless), and I had a lot of fun. Our next gig is the biggest yet - we get to perform in a 45-minute slot, 3 days in a row at a huge equine expo at Will Rogers the first 3 days in June! I'm super excited but also super nervous. I'll be using my walk routine from Wings of Hope and hope to be able to do a simple trot freestyle as well. I found one on YouTube I should be able to do easily but I really want to tweek it and make it a little longer and more complex because I feel it would be almost TOO easy. Hopefully Chris's back will be better and we'll get to do our double we've had choreographed for like forever, though we've never had the opportunity to try it mounted, and I probably need to come up with another individual but idk what yet and I'll have all of two days to get these down, plus boot camp time we'll hopefully have a day or so before. Kat's got a wedding in DC so she won't be able to come to this one or we would for sure be doing a triple. Oh well, guess we'll have to save that for the end of the summer. All in all, I'm so excited to get back vaulting again. I'm nervous because I haven't been able to train with barrels, horse, or coach in a couple of weeks and I've been sort of slacking on my daily regimend, especially since our rec center classes ended for the summer but it feels like once I get back to it, I'll finally be whole again. I was born to do this, I can feel it, so when I can't, it's almost like there's a piece of me missing somewhere and I absolutely can't wait to get it back! :)

SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's day 6 (ish) of working on my elbow stand and I've successfully gotten all the way up and held it for a longer time than ever before, several times today!!!!!!!!!! Not only that, but I'm gaining more control so I don't thunk quite so much coming down; instead, it's more like the come-down from a handstand. :D I know it's a small victory and there's still not guarantee I'll be able to do it on a barrel or a moving horse in a week but considering how discouraged I was feeling about the whole thing in general just a couple of days ago and the fact that I have been working on this move less than a week (and it takes mainly arm strength which is like the one place I severely lack muscle), I'm feeling pretty happy right about now.

Bad news: I tweeked my old back injury dancing last night. My dance partner learned the candlestick (basically he swings me up so I do a full elbow stand on his shoulders), but the second time we tried it I got all the way up and apparently my knees bent and over-balanced me backwards or something because that angle where my hip and lumbar connect bent too far and there was instant pain. That vertebrae is really sore today and feels swollen and if I bend back even a little it hurts. I still did yoga this morning and practiced my elbow stands some more even though I know I should be taking it easy so I don't really hurt myself but I can't help it. I want it so bad, I just can't keep myself from training, especially now that I've gotten used to doing it every day. I've been icing it and am about to soak in a hot bath and then ice it again and if the pain isn't gone by Monday, I'm tempted to call my chiropractor and see if she can take a look at it. I really don't want to get readjusted this close to vaulting crunch-time but I may not have a choice. Honestly though, I may not even be able to get an appointment so the student health center (or "quack shack" as the students affectionately call it :P) may have to do, though I doubt they'd be much help.

So all reading this, please just pray for speedy healing for my back and nothing serious so I can get back to training asap and have my routine ready to show my coach next weekend (which I still have only half-choreographed-yikes!).

Better Late Than Never - Stock Show Recap

I know, I know, I'm over a month late on this but I've been crazy busy with school and training and just life in general so cut me some slack :P.

The stock show was so much fun and I'm really glad we got to do it. I did come down standing at the trot but I stood back up and finished and landed my dismount. Turns out, it was really an off-day for pretty much everyone. Even the vaulters from the other clubs who were a lot better than us struggled at every turn and one of their horses tripped during a double but I know that I had fun and my coach was really proud of us, even though we weren't perfect. The best part is, we've been invited back next year! We got lots of compliments from the audience and everyone watching really seemed impressed, no matter how much or how little we each did. I love performing for people and getting to share my love of this wonderful sport with them. Plus, people who've never seen this before don't know when you mess up! lol

Frustrated

Ugh, sorry everyone but I really need to vent. I'm just so frustrated! We have a performance in Godley, TX on April 21st and there's a good chance the only practice on the actual barrel and horse I'll get for this shindig is spring break and maybe a boot camp a couple days or a week before we head out, so I've been working on choreographing my routine and practicing what I can here in The Ville.

First off, this is the first choreography I've EVER put together entirely by myself and I'm trying a lot of skills that I've never done before and are a lot harder than what I have done. I practice what I can on the ground but even if I can do something perfectly on the ground that doesn't move, doesn't mean I can do it on a barrel or a moving horse and unfortunately you won't know if you can until you try and either fall on your face or you don't. My biggest enemy at this point is my elbow stand. I really wanna use it and I keep trying to remind myself that I've been working on this move less than a week and it's slowly getting better but I still can't hold it very long and at least half the time can't get up at all and I'm just on the floor!

So needless to say, I'm feeling discouraged at this point and afraid I won't have this down concretely enough to practice it over spring break so my coach will let me do it, let alone have it performance-ready in 3 weeks.

It's just so frustrating that I bust my butt every day cross-training to stay in shape and practicing these moves until my body can't take it any more and I'm still barely keeping up. I mean yea, I know we're all different but it's infuriating that the other girls (except Chris but I'm not talking about her anyways) have been doing this as long as me (to the day) or less and they've got way cooler moves than me because they get to practice on the barrel at home most of them and at practice with our coach and horse once a week while I have to do everything myself without a barrel, horse, or a coach and with a body that is much harder to work with. I'm almost a decade older than these other girls (besides my two bffs) and they not only have a background in some sort of gymnastics, ballet, or tumbling, but their bodies are a lot younger and it's a lot easier for them to train flexibility than it is for those of us who have already developed all the way. I hate that I feel like I'm not training hard enough and want to keep going and pushing myself but am forced to quit because my body just gives out. I'm the type of person who wants to keep going and going and trying and trying until it's perfect but I can't because my body gets tired and things just go from bad to worse, leaving me even more frustrated and discouraged. I wonder if Megan Benjamin ever felt this way. I'm tempted to Facebook her and ask her but who am I to go bothering a world champion with my petty little problems? Why on earth would she take time out of her packed day to give some advice to someone she doesn't even know? One part of me reminds me that she seems to be a very kind, down-to-earth person and that the only way to find out is to ask but the other part is scared and all my life that's the part I've listened to.

It just feels like I always have all the odds stacked against me and no matter how I try, I'm clawing just to come out even with everyone else who don't work nearly as hard, take it nearly as seriously, or want or need it nearly as much as I do. I keep hoping that always being the underdog will make me a better person and that one day, because of all I've fought, I'll finally come out on top. I guess we'll just have to wait and see...

New leos!

I still don't get my leo 'till Thursday but I did get Chris to send me a pic of hers and they all match so yea. Here they are and I think they're AWESOME!!!!!!!! :D

Cross-Training: Yoga

Last semester I discovered (the hard way) that it is absolutely impossible to keep up with my vaulting when I regress physically between training sessions during the school year. As I am in college an hour and a half away from my training barn and gas is approaching $4.00 a gallon, I cannot afford to vault once a week during the school year. If all goes well, I drive in once a month. I also can't make the practices on the nights with the other girls, so Chris and I, both being college students, have private lessons on Saturday on the weeks we come. I quickly realized last semester that doing nothing between those lessons simply was not going to cut it. While it's true, you can't help but regress a little bit as you can only imitate the kind of skills and strength and exercise of vaulting to a certain point without a practice barrel and a horse, there are still plenty of measures one can take to at least attempt to stay caught up.

One of these is yoga.

I use yoga as a cross-training tool to increase my balance and flexability. Let me tell you, I never knew an hour of deep breathing and stretching could be so painful! This is my second weekly class this semester and I am proud to report that I have already noticed improvement. While it was still a stretch, I got both hands flat on the ground without bending my kness for the first time EVER tonight, got my head down on my knees leaning over, AND almost brought my head to my thighs bending at the middle. This is after only two consecutive lessons folks. Of course, I cross-train in other ways and stretch on my own but personally, I think this is some pretty promising evidence that yoga will help.

While no amount of doing anything else can make up for missing vaulting and there will always be some amount of regression involved, any vaulter will tell you cross-training dramatically cuts down on that (especially if you're an asthmatic like myself) and can only enhance performance. I'll continue to detail my other cross-training types and my experiences there-in. Meanwhile, stock show is only 3 days away not counting today! Yikes! <:o

Exhibition: T-minus 1 week and counting!

So (wow, I sure start a lot of posts this way...) my dog and I stayed with my good friend from the team, Chris, last weekend at her dad's townhouse (which is GORGEOUS btw) so we could get another practice in before stock show dress rehearsal on thursday night.

Vaulting wise, it was a long but fun day. We didn't drill on the barrel much at all, unlike before, so that was nice but we did more horse work. It just being adults again was really nice and we were able to get a lot done without getting stressed out. I finally vaulted on to Gus at the canter all by myself again. I don't know what my deal has been. Both the first time I ever tried and the first tiem I ever tried on him, I did it perfectly but for some reason I haven't really been able to sense. It went from fine, to clawing my way up, to not being able to get up at all and had begun to really frustrate me. In fact it was affecting me so adversly, I lost all my confidence and just quit altogether. I've been getting legs up for quite a while since then and my coach hadn't pushed the issue until this weekend. Completely doubtful, I tried and to my great surprise, I made it! Yes, there was clawing involved because I turned but not as bad as before. I actually made it all the way up without him having to stop the horse and it's on tape! I still have yet to watch it because, being the perfectionist that I am, I'm not far enough removed form it yet to see only the success of making it and let the failure to do it properly go. While I felt my comps at the trot to the right left much to be desired, we got to work at the canter and that was pleasanly surprising. I was full of dread, certain it would end hourendously considering I'd only attempted it once and that time didn't go very well considering I'd never worked past the walk doing anything at that point and hadn't vaulted at all in two months! This time however, I saw definitely progress. I was able to hold a steady (and what I'm hoping was a somewhat presentable) flag for a good 3 or 4 strides whereas before I barely got it up and immediately fell. I also attempted a stand at the canter for the first time and got half way there! (Gus was also not being particularly enthusiastic that day so I was a bit afraid I'd get up there and then he'd decide to trot and over his head I'd go so I felt it best to stop there for the day.) The mill was also considerablly easier than before, though I did fall dismounting...twice. Haha but I was still proud of myself nonetheless and for me, that is an achievement in itself.

Chris stood at the trot half-way for the first time (she still struggles standing at the walk, though she's much better than she gives herself credit for, and did all of her comps at the canter as well except for the stand. Haha she did eat surcingle though...quite literally! She was attemtping to stand at the trot and was oh prolly at least 1/3 of the way there when Gus suddenly decided to walk and she fell forward, hitting her teeth against the surcingle, hence the reason I felt it better to err on the side of caution when standing myself lol. She was a trooper though and it was great fun. We also worked afterward, pulling Gus's mane and clipping him for the upcoming exhibition.

Oh, competition leos are in and they're GORGEOUS! At least I think so. I've only seen Chris' and I won't get mine 'till Thursday so I don't have a picture now but I'll post one then. Can't wait to try it on! :D

The rest of our weekend was spent with pizza, Bones, and watching our dogs play. All-in-all, it was a very nice weekend with a very good friend. :)

Drama Drama

As I've mentioned before, most of our team is relatively young and almost entirely made up of girls, so therefore we end up with quite a bit of drama. If you ask me, it's all petty and SO unnecessary but they're kids, what can ya do? So Chris txted me tonight (sadly, I'm already back at school :( ) and tells me about all this drama going on in the team. Apparently one of the girls was an idiot and decided to pass out these papers to everyone (though conveniently Chris, Katherine, and I never got one) asking stupid stuff like who their favorite vaulter on the team was, who they thought was the best, and who they didn't want on the team. Needless to say, she got in trouble. The way I hear it, our coach was pretty peeved and really lit into them. I'm glad someone's doing something since apparently their mothers can't control them. As much as I miss vaulting, I'm rather glad I'm not there for all this BS. That's definitely one more thing I DON'T need added to my stress level.

Random

So I saw this tatoo on some random person's FB and I think it's legitly awesome. Just sayin...

Must Be Dreaming

So my friend from the club posted on my FB wall saying "What do you think it would take to convince [our coach] to convince Megan Benjamin to come do a clinic for us?" (with both named tagged). I thought my heart was going to stop when Megan replied with "Consider me convinced ;)". OMG!!!!!!!!!! A world champion vaulter is willing to come all the way to Texas from California to do a clinic with a bunch of beginners...I've gotta be dreaming. I knew she was a nice person but this is insane! So I txted my coach and told him and what was his reply? "Well we'll have to talk about that". Um excuse me but WHAT IS THERE TO TALK ABOUT?! THE Megan Benjamin wants to come HERE to coach US! How could anyone say no to that?! I don't care what it'll take to convince him, how many classes/events I have to miss, or how much money it'll cost me, but somehow, someway, by the grace of God, Chris & I WILL make this happen! Keep your fingers crossed!

Size Doesn't Matter...Much

I count myself very lucky that the sport I fell in love with isn't as size-restrictive as many of the other out there. While it's true, being small can give you an advantage in team and pas de deux routines and can sometimes increase the types and amount of skills you can perform for flexability purposes, you by no means have to be rail thin to vault. In fact, one of the most important things in this sport is power and for that you need muscle. I do hope to be able to be a flier sometimes and since I'm not a very steady base right now I end up being the one standing on someone else or being held up in group routines. For this reason, I do sometimes wish I was lighter like another of the girls but I'm glad I have a choice and way more wiggle room than would be provided in ballet or gymnastics. Our coach has always been awesome in that way too. He's never made a comment one way or the other about any of our sizes and I can't thank him enough for that. I put enough pressure on myself and definitely don't need anyone else doing it for me.

All of this came to my mind during a shopping trip I took with one of my best friends today. We were trying on bras (TIM I know but bear with me) and I noticed I looked trimmer around the middle. I tend to avoid mirrors, particularly when I don't have clothes on, so I hadn't noticed this before and can't really say when it all happened. My friend commented that it looked like I'd lost weight, which was awesome for me. Since I never step on a scale, I can't know if she's right but I definitely noticed more definition in my abs and less fat on my back and sides. Of all the things vaulting has done for me, who knew it would actually make me (in my eyes) more attractive! It is a little known fact that there is a HUGE difference between being skinny and being in shape. Now thanks to vaulting, I'm on my way to being both. :)

Private Practice

So my coach had an awesome surprise for us today - a special aduls only practice! As mentioned in my previous post, having to train with a bunch of kids so much younger and more immature than you is...tedious at best, so the chance to practice in a smaller group with just the adults was a godsend. Did my body hurt from training yesterday? You bet but I'm as dedicated as I can be and have no problem busting my rear end for the sport and tonight I found that all the blood, sweat, and tears are really paying off. After some intense barrel work, we got to work to the right on the horse for the first time ever, which is something I've really been wanting to do!

For those of you who don't know, the direction you generally go in vaulting is to the left (your left arm in towards to lunger), so going to the right is a big deal because everything you know compulsory-wise is reversed. This may not sound like a big deal but you have to use muscles in ways you aren't used to and that's a challenge. It's like being ambidexterous. In competitions there are even specific classes for going to the right.

Now, why is this a big deal to me? My big goal right now is earning my trot metals when the time comes for our metal test. There are two metals at that level - one for the left and one for the right and since we might have to pay to have a judge come to issue the test, I really wanna earn both at once. When we talked about that tonight, coach said my friend Christ and I shouldn't have any trouble getting our trot metals and I'm extatic! :D

Working the compulsories to the right at a walk really wasn't bad but the trot was harder. However, I must have done pretty well because my coach wants me to go to the right for our big performance coming up at the Fort Worth Stock Show in front of 1,500 people! I'ma little nervous because my comps aren't as pretty to the right and I'll only have two practices to get it right before I have to perform but I feel pretty special to be the only one doing it. He also said he felt I was good enough to be able to dance a little to the music we're using while I'm up there. I love performing for people so I'm pretty excited about that as well. I'm actually kind of glad I won't be doing a freestyle for this because I won't be able to practice as much as the younger kids because of school. Still though, I can't wait. I really think this is going to be the experience of a lifetime. :)

Practice 1/10/2012

We had a simple but really good practice tonight that was a lot of fun. We did relay races over the barrel and my team won 3 times and then, by some miracle of God himself, we got all 12 of us, ages 7-20+, on 1 practice barrel at the same time with no one touching the ground. And the best part...I got it all on video! As much as part of me was thinking "we have a big performance in just a couple of weeks and we're spending our valuable time (made even more valuable for those of us college kids who are going to miss at least two practices between now and then) doing this stuff?", the team building activities we did tonight were (for the most part) really fun and I think we really needed that. Because of the extreme variety of ages, personalities, and backgrounds we have on the team, there's often a lot of friction, particularly between us three older girls and the four younger ones. All of the younger girls are relatively well-off, some more than others, and all but one are extremely spoiled and self-centered. Because of that, us three older girls who are poor and have to live in the adult world have a rather short fuse with the kids, which usually ends up splitting our team right down the middle. Times like this however when we really have to work together as a team, we can pull it off and I think sometimes we all just need that reminder that, at the very least, for better or worse, we're stuck with each other so we may as well try and get along.

We also had 4 beginners tonight, 3 of which were kids and I got to do a little one-on-one coaching with a couple of them. I love opportunities like this because it reminds me how much I love working with kiddos and gives me even more assurance that I'm going down the right path for my life right now.

My front clicks, both on and off the horse, are getting a lot better and I stood the most stable I ever have at the trot tonight. Kat did her compulsories at the trot for her second time ever and first time since November and stood up for several beats as well. Got lots of praise from my coach, lots of free practice time of the barrels, and had lots of fun with my friends. Is there a better end to a practice or even just a day than that? :)

SQUEEL!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, so I feel like a complete dork being so excited but...Megan Benjamin direct tweeted me on Twitter!!!!!!!!! :D

After finding her website, I tweeted "I'm completely awed by Miss @meganbenjamin! She's so amazing and a great role model for a beginner like me. Just hope I can do that someday." It was a while ago and truth be told, I'd completely forgotten about it but then tonight she popped up on my feed with "@cowgirlmarlee Behind on my tweets and just saw this. Beginners like YOU are an inspiration to ME. Keep at it!"

I swear, I think my jaw dropped ten feet and I'm quite surprised I didn't fall out of my chair and pass out on the floor right then and there. I think it really shows a lot about a person when they're a world champion with a million things to do and probably just as many fans and yet they still remain so down to earth and take the time to notice the little people and make us feel special. This is particularly comforting since my recent run-in with other clubs has shown me people who aren't nearly as good or at least famous who can't grasp that concept. People like Megan give me hope for humanity yet.

Requiem For A Dream

Got my hair cut today. It's shorter than it's been in probably two years but I like it. It's weird, normally when I go in for a hair cut, all that matters is what I like. I never get bangs because I think they're annoying and I never go shorter than shoulder-length because I think it makes my face look round and heavy. This time though, my specifications weren't just about what I wanted, they were about what I needed to do what I want to do. I decided it was time to get it cut in the first place because, while I liked it long just fine, it was getting to be too much hair to stay in a bun so it was always falling out and getting in the way during practice. I had to make sure the length and layers were long enough to be pulled back and bunned, not only for practice but for our big performance at the stock show coming up, so I couldn't risk getting a taper, though I really would've perfered one.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining at all. I love vaulting and I have no problem giving it 110%, it's just different having to give up so much for my passion. Though I've loved riding since the day I took my first lesson, I really never had to work outside of the barn. I busted my butt with two-points, serpentines, and posting during lessons, sure, but after those two hours once a week, I got to go home and do whatever I wanted. Now, while I may just vault 3 hours once a week, it involves so much more than that. Since I can't take lessons while I'm away at school, the cross-training never ends. It's yoga, zumba, weights, and rocks at least one day a week each and streteches and conditioning exercises and handstands every day. I give up time, money, sleep, and sometimes even the physical well-being of my body to live this dream.

What is my dream you ask? To compete at Nationals or the WEG? To become a professional or even a coach? No. My dream is simple - just to vault. The sport is all I want. While I definitely want to become the best that I can be and earn some metals and while It's true that I love to perform, aside from just doing the sport, none of that other stuff really matters to me. I wouldn't care if I couldn't ever perform again and I don't care if I ever compete or travel. Vaulting is my passion and that's why, though as a college student with limited funds, parents who don't understand, and so many miles separating me from the barn, I don't mind giving it all I have and doing whatever it takes to make it work.

I just wish my parents could see that. To them it's just a hobby, something I don't have the time or money for and shouldn't be focusing on but it's so much more than that to me. I truly believe this sport has saved my life. Even if they never understand this, I wish they would at least respect it. It would take a lot of the pressure off me and would make all this sacrifice a whole lot easier.

Boot Camp

So tonight marks the end of our 2-day boot camp with the other two vaulting clubs in our state and it was quite an experience! The first day was...rocky to say the least. The other two teams are much more experienced and at much higher levels than anyone on my team, which is fine by me and I was excited to get some pointers but the first day they got here, all we seemed to get was disrespect. Everyone on our side left that day feeling pretty sour and dreading day two but this morning, for whatever reason, it was a whole different story. The one who'd been causing the most trouble was who gave me so many pointers on my compulsories on the barrel and became my assigned "legger" for the performance. To make a long story short, by the end of the day, though we're all still strangers for the most part, everyone was getting along a lot better, working together, and most importantly, starting to trust each other. I could really feel a sense of community beginning to build between teams. Suddenly, it wasn't like we were 3 separate teams anymore but one big one.

Now not only am I really looking forward to doing this preformance with them but I have hope that we will only keep growing closer as we continue to work together and that someday, maybe even not so far away, we'll be able to call each other "friend".